Sending positive vibes to my H!

[TwinDad]

so i wont do this now but is there a point when i say i want you to come home or is this all in his control?

In my sitch, it kind of came on gradually. Through most of the sep we actually weren't sep in the traditional sense. We had just sold our house, so there was always something for me to do at her house...so there was only a handful of days where we didn't see each other at all. Through the beginning, she would ask me to leave relatively early in the evening, then it got later and later, then we started mixing some wine into the equation and she said you can stay tonight if you want. So we had a handful of nights where I had spent the night over there and on the nights where I wasn't We pretty much hung out together until it was bed time.

This went on for a few weeks, then I had a week with the kids to myself and my Mom came down to visit for the week. I think it was this week where she missed the fun we had been having. At the end of the week we all went to a family cookout and I went to drop her off at her house and she looked very lonely. My Mom saw this and said she would watch the kids that night if I wanted to come back over. It was the next night that she asked me to come back.

I'm sorry I ramble.......bascially what I am trying to say is that it can be gradual...somewhat natural or a statement. Did you ask your H to leave or did he choose to. If he chose to then it is his decision to come home....you just need to let him know that he is welcome to do so when he is ready. If you asked him to leave then something like "I made a mistake in asking you to leave, if you are willing I would like you to come back home". This will likely lead to and R talk....remember your DB skills....

I hope you had a great night last night.....considering we didn't hear from you in the middle of the night, I am hoping that is a good thing :-)