I have come to realize a few things over the last few days. When I saw OM truck at the house. Even though it is her choice, I do see my part in driving her to find someone to give her the attention that she needs. Still hurts, but understanding and accepting helps some.
I look at my W as two different people now. I see her as an individual and the other part as my W. My real concern is the individual part of her. The W part I try to stay detached and separated from.
I guess in this journey I have found what unconditional love is. My real concern is that she does go and find her inner happiness that she has never really had. It hurts to let her go, but it is for the best. I do believe my W deserves to find the inner peace and happiness that she deserves. I am not sure she is going about it the right way, but she has to choose her own path and live with her decisions.
I have also found out what real pain is. Losing her hurts. The real hurt comes from the way that I treated her and walked out on her emotionally. I thought of it on a sympathetic level before, now I feel it on an empathetic level. This is hard to come to terms with. I have broken down on and off over the last few days about it. That is what really hurts and why I don't have any expectations of her coming back.
I still do stand by choice. If not I would not be true to myself. I really don't have any expectations that she will return, but leave a door open if she finds her way back. Sooner or later it will close, but it is a natural process that needs to run it's course.
Last edited by yenko69; 07/22/0811:32 AM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
