so it seems there has been a shift and it seems to be more than simply the swey of the pendulum...it seems this time it's a lasting shift..
I know that some of the shift has been a result of my looking at the positives and trying to stay focussed there instead of in the negative yuck of it all...some of the shift may simply have occured do to something unknown to me (implying something in h could be anything at all)
h is very present..
expressive..
talkative...
open..
fun..
friendly...
and a whole lot of other good stuff...
h seems more and more comfortable...beyond just the comfortable enough to burp and fart and fall asleep on the couch kinda stuff...he seems very comfortable being him around me...when he calls he's expressive (for a long time pre bomb h was one face all the time and it was stale)and sharing.
this is h's busy season...he's stressed but sharing that stress with me and giving me an oportunity to try to make him smile and look at the brighter side is helpful..silly that I started out thanking him for sharing his mysery with me to get to this point but hey after all..catch them doing right is what it's all about.
so things continue to go well round here...I'm sure there will still be days when I'm down and question it all but they are seeming less and less and further apart and actually I'm able to bounce back much easier.
this time last year..h was certain that he wanted a d..wasn't comming home...was in love with ow...claimed never to have had that feeling for me in the first place...etc etc...
now h is happier than he's been in a long time and always wants to be home..heck he'll even pass up an invitation to visit friends or family to just stay home and enjoy his own home with his own family.
why we had to go on this journey I do not know...I didn't like it...in fact I hated it....really messed with my mind and body...but in the long run I'm happy it happend..something had to change and I'm not sure that either of us would have made the changes if not for the drastic circumstances that forced us to do so.
focus on the positives! put a smile on your face and appreciate each day for what it has to offer.
