Now about filing, I finally came to the conclusion that filing is "enabling". Its enabling her behavior, specifically the conflict avoidance behavior. If I file I basically am saying her behavior is acceptable that its acceptable to hurt the ones you love and love you to find "happiness." That its ok to avoid the difficult things in life, to hide and run from them. To avoid the responsibility of her actions.
This gets back to not doing the hard work for her. She's got to do her hard work just like I have to do mine. Even if in the end we get divorced I can't let her "off the hook" from doing the hard work she needs to do and filing right now would do just that.
I'm right with you on this catfan, I think it's doing their dirty work for them. I think this is the driving force behind some of walkaway's behaviour; to cow us into pulling the trigger for them, and if we do they never have to really face what they are doing.
The wall I think is the fear of Divorce, if you can hit it, face it close up, and get to your feet again, then you've conquered your fear of it. Losing that fear unties your hands to handle more freely whatever comes next.
