I was an ATM for a spouse during my M and paid a serious chunk of change to make make The X go away. And it took me 5 years to get back on my feet again.
I talked to my C about how I am not interesting in paying off another spouse if a future R does not work out. And especially in my 40's - I have no desire to rebuild financially yet again. My C said "ask him to sign a pre-nup." If he is not a gold digger - he won't mind signing. If he has a problem signing - there is a red flag. After all if the R lasts - well the pre-nup is not a big deal. It only really kicks in if the R falls apart.
I am also in the process of adopting and it is important to me to be able to provide financial stability for my future kids.
And if I should end up with a man that makes more - I will volunteer to sign a pre-nup. And if I end up having a future R's kids - there will be a post nup and funds set aside to secure their future.
There is reality and then there is idealism. I dealt with idealism last time. These days I am much more into reality.
