OK, I guess I'll also open this up to opinions on whether to confront H about OW. I confronted him 2 years ago when I saw all the calls on the cell phone bill. He acted genuinely hurt that I would accuse him of such a thing. Made up excuses for the calls. Everything snowballed from there. I have blamed myself for 2 years, thinking that most of this was my fault for making a false accusation.
As time has gone on, I've had that gut feeling. When he stopped sleeping in the same bed and all of the other clues added up I knew in my heart there was OW. I tried to snoop, but failed. The fact that the bills were suddently kept under lock and key was another clue. But, I kept trying to trust him. When he said he was "done" in March and wanted a divorce it hit me hard and I didn't immediately start thinking more about the possibility of OW, but I still had that feeling in my gut.
Two weeks ago the opportunity presented itself to me to have access to the bills (the safe was unlocked), so I looked. I made copies. The calls continue. Not as long as they were two years ago, but still there. I thought about PI, posted on here about it, but then remembered another option. I will not disclose how I found out without a doubt, but I know now that it is true. I can't tell H how I know for sure.
I'm sure if I confront him again he will deny. I know him well enough to know this. I'm sure it will just make him more angry. If he admits it I'm pretty sure he will say he hadn't thought about it until I accused him of it----trying to continue to put the blame on me. But, how can I not bring this out in the open?
He came to pick up the kids for his first overnight at "his place." S9 and D11 almost acted excited to be going for a visit. D14 was emotional, but then I had yelled at her earlier for something (I overreacted knowing H was coming)and I know it upset her.
So do I confront him. Do I tell him I KNOW, when I can't tell him how I know. Do I make up a story about an anonymous e-mail or phone call? Do I wait until he makes his "decision" before I try to bring it to light.
My mother is convinced he has OW, and it makes her mad to talk about it. I try to tell her I don't want to think about that possibility, but she's pretty set in her thinking. Now I don't know if I should tell other people what I know, because I know it will possibly decrease my chances of reconciliation. But, I could really use some support on my side and some days I just want to scream to everyone that HE'S SCREWING SOMEONE ELSE !!!!
I don't know what to do. I do know that I'm feeling anger tonight. I'm feeling ALONE, since he has them tonight. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
