5 yr DBer, "Joint" D now in progress

[RSmiles]

Thank you Cat!!! I really need support right now... H has gone ballistic since I last posted.

Unfortunately, things are getting worse here temporarily for me. Like an hour or two after I posted my 'new resolve', H's behavior and attitude towards me has taken a sudden turn toward the worse. It's like he noticed I was calm and happy and can't take it? Who knows. For the last couple days, he's been in and out of periods of rage, threatening to sue me, throwing things in my direction.(Luckily he hasn't hit me) Thank god I am leaving in 3 days. Yesterday, I had to take a break and leave the house for my own sanity/possible safety. H is acting out of control right now, he still hasn't signed the temporary order b/c of his BS.

On Saturday, it all started b/c the dogs were out in the yard playing and one of them lost their dog tags. I don't know where the tags are- lost in the grass? H lost it- started screaming at me that I am the dumbest B%^ he's ever known, What the F is my problem:$#%" He then demanded that I find them or pay for them and I better hope they didn't eat them b/c he's suing my a$$ off if one of them gets sick and dies. He then went into a screaming tirade about how he hates me b/c he thinks I killed our cat 8 yrs ago. (Back story- the cat ate some thread by my sewing machine, he had to have surgery b/c it wound around his intestines and he didn't recover from surgery. Very sad story- but how on earth is this my fault??) But this is one of the many things H holds against me- H calls me "Cat Killer" over and over. I love my cats, is he insane or what!!? The next thing I know these 2 guys ring the doorbell to come look at an old car we have that apparently H put up for sale!! But, H has no idea where the keys are, he lost the title for it- so he can't sell it. The guys are standing out in our driveway and H comes running into the house yelling at me "Where the h did you put the keys?!@#" What did you do I bet you let the dogs eat them- dumba$$856" H had no plans to tell me about selling the car, nor sharing any $ w. me- He lied and told me he was junking the car earlier (it's pretty dead). But now behind my back he's trying to get $200-300 for it. He never found the keys and the guys left. Apparently he told them they could buy it now and he'd just get them the stuff later. Don't think they bought it. OH my.

Then today, I get home from my last day of work and H immediately starts yelling at me about the remote control (broken) and the dog tags again and now his passport. He demands that I buy new ones and that he won't sign the temporary order until I do or get it added in the temporary order. INSANE! I tried to talk him down, but I don't know if it worked yet. OMG. And he thinks I owe him a new passport or I better scour the house looking for it, b/c he doesn't know where his passport is and he needs it in his file cabinet for security reasons. Is it my fault he never paid attention and is disorganized? I don't know where his passport is. He just burst into my room and yelled at me about why am I paying our mortgage late this month (remember he told me he has no $$!!! So I have to pay it all now w. my check on Fri). Then he screams "I'll be so F glad when Friday comes and Im done w all your BS!" Can you believe he just said that to me?!!!! He's stomping around in a rage and I said I would call the police if I had to and he got even madder at me. Luckily for now he's left me alone. I feel really tense., somewhat worried and hope he doesn't lose it more. He has never really hit me before. He throws stuff and spews tons of angry verbal abuse. He got really rough with one of the dogs today was jerking him around and yelling at him. I do not like that at all.

What a drama. I'm doing better today, yesterday I was in tears half the afternoon. Help- what do I do to make it through this and stay safe and get him to sign the order. Just not react to him and try to be calm? I'm trying my best. My Mom is flying in tomorrow night, I think he might behave better when she's here. Let's hope.