For me the best DBing occurred after I was "done."

And just because I didn't date, or was the one to file, doesn't mean I wasn't "done." It just meant I wasn't interested in, or ready to date. Also, I didn't want to be responsible in any way for the D. I just didn't want any of that on my conscience.

I figured I wanted to look back and say, "Hey, I did my best. I let him figure out what he wanted... I left the door slightly open... I didn't try to pull him through, he was able to make his own choice, he didn't walk through... oh well... I did my best, learned a lot worked on healing and hopefully I'll be a better person in any future relationship."

I knew I had no desire for a rebound relationship, and I didn't want to put the burden of my healing on anyone else. There's time in the future....

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.