5 days ago- C for communication, big blow up after getting back. Told H. I would not play his 'games'.
4 days ago- Went dark, minimal contact only for the kids, GAL
3 days ago- GAL continued, told H. I can't control his choices
I don't think you "go dark" by having minimal contact for 1 day.
So, you know me - devil's advocate. The following is just one big "What if?" - creative criticism to get the ol' juices flowing.
Have you ever wondered why, if you aren't willing to go back, you also don't seem to want to move forward?
I think if I was your H, based on what you said transpired over the last 5 days, I'd be confused too. You guys act like you're missing each other - like Distressed said. He is giving more (which probably feels like a LOT to him) but it isn't what you need, you aren't getting it through to him what you have to have but you aren't willing to give up; both of you are forever circling, stuck in a whirlpool but never sinking or breaking free.
I can certainly understand why you want a separate room for DC. Personally, I think it's a little weird, though. If I were in the position of your H, I'd wonder why you were even going to go, because the message comes across as "I don't want to be with you." My attitude would probably be, "If you don't want to be with me, then don't come." Although I wouldn't say that to my W, I'd just be grateful for the time together.
Point being, you're sending confusing messages as much as he is. One of you has got to figure out how to break out of these cycles if you're going to progress. Based on apparent emotional abilities, I'd say that person is going to be you. Which you probably don't want to hear. But if you aren't willing to leave, then you're going to need to do a better job of showing him what you want in a way he can hear.
So, back to those creative juices. If you go to DC and stay in a separate room, how can you do that in a way that sends a positive message?
