The continuing story of the Lake Erie Shore

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I ain't got much sense,

Well THAT part of the song is true. Love makes fools of the wisest.

Anger...yup. Its a tool, harness it. Use it to feed your dettachment. Do not use it against your wife.

Example:
"I wonder what she's doing right now?"

"F-it, f her. I'm going out and eating f-ing ribs."

Or you know use it to add 5 more minutes onto your workout. I used to imagine the OM on my last sets.

My friend managed to get me to the top of a mountian saying, "That's ok Jack, this is as far as OM made it too." I wanted to kill him, but I made it.

Anger is a tool like a hammer, build or destroy.

Its ok to figure out where it is coming from, but you need to figure out what you're going to do with it regardless.

[Neilh23]

Bridge...yes.

J3B- good analogy. i'll use it tommorrow when i go to the gym. can't tonite...gave blood.

according to my IC, this is good that i'm feeling my anger. i just can't unleash it on my W...that would be bad. LOL

and to be honest, i really haven't gotten angry since the start of my sitch...so i got some stuff built up...... Just not sure why its coming now....

thanks

[pisces9]

its part of the waves- small waves, big waves in a sea of uncertainty..its ok...
also- she may never have to go to MC .... if you are doing all this it will/ has changed the R dramatically...so unless he says she wants to go- it may not have to happen...besides- it isnt always the best thing anyway...

its good you are letting your anger out in writing...i am going on a run now too- anxiety, anger, sadness...its all the same pent up feelings mushed together....


(((NEil)))

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

HHHMMMM

I havea theory, if you do not have a problem with religious references. The devil ALWAYS steps up his efforts when he sees signs of progress in the right direction. The mind meanies kick in, the negative actions become harder to fight, and the urge to confront and attack is harder to tamp down.

Let me give you an example. While there has not been major progress in my sitch, their have been a few positives lately. In addition, my personal life--GAL, detachment, and unconditional love have REALLY stepped up and over the plate. Well, out of the blue, with no outside input, I got hit with a major negative thought yesterday. I was driving to the store, listening to praise music, when the thought came into my mind that if my H proceeds with a divorce, my D16 would be left without medical insurance. She is his stepdaughter and in the instance of a divorce, the military would not allow her to remain on his insurance. I hit a major panic and started to get tight feelings in my chest. I knew to pull it in and not go down that cheeseless tunnel, as it would get me nowhere. Instead, I started praying for my H's salvation, his return to God, and restoration of my family. It is hard to not let the bad thoughts to take over--it is another challenge we have to face on top of the spew we are getting from our spouses.

We have resources to help us, God will always help us in our stand for restoration, if we ask him and rest in his strength when ours starts to fail.

SMW

[Neilh23]

Pisces...thanks.....it does help. Sometimes, tho....i need to unleash on someone....IC on wednesday....i will last that long..LOL

SMW------- i hadn't thought about that aspect. Thank you. He (the Good Guy) works in mysterious ways....plus i forgot that the other guy is still trying to work against us..... even tho i went to church yesterday!!!!!

Thanks......

still sorta angry.....and there's nothing wrong with that. there are many examples in the Bible of where God get's angry....LOL....and man, talk about unleashing.....

anyways...seriously...thanks

[pisces9]

anger is very important. i agree with that.
men and women show their anger differently- and its ok to be a man and be angry.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Neilh23]

ok so not a good convo with W. we talked about the kids and how we're oging to help them cope with things...she wants us to get some books.....i'm all for it...i really am....it's just that i'm angry and i started to feel myself get angrier about my sitch.....and i got quiet. she asked what was wrong...i told her i was mad....and she asked at me? i was like yes and no. i said i don't want to talk about it....and got off the phone with her.


WTF. this blows. she really is going to wait the damn year and then file......


WAW's. WTF.

impatience.

not good.

[poet]

Neil buddy,

I feel your pain. Yikes, I was so angry with my H both yesterday and today, and I didn't follow the rules. You did, buddy. Thank yourself for that. My H probably has a right to say I do one thing and say another.

I've been looking for the part that says
"Don't forget to dance, but I can't find it. Maybe I didn't go back far enough in your thread. I've been busy as a bee today and I'm exhausted now. Will check again on you tomorrow. Geeesh, your anger is right here with me, friend.

hugs on their way out over cyberworld right to your door.

s

[upside_downer]

she really is going to wait to see my changes are for good, or just a game I'm playing temporarily.

There, I fixed it for you

Seriously.....this is part of the test of your character and what you have been working towards all this time. Don't let one thing spoil it. Kick some soccer balls. Get a punching bag. Go running til you can't anymore, and do something mentally to get your mind in the right place. Anger is fine. Just remember that exploding in a R doesn't help put things back together. Just the opposite.

[sgctxok]

Neil...

I want to mention that something you can really learn from Bill, even if he doesn't define it that way...... is the REAL GIVING aspect.....if you look at how he helps you with your goals....he helps you try to meet your wife's need in each one. It's pretty cool. And I imagine it will work.

sg