apparanetly, I'm also doing a crappy job as Dad

[LolaL]

(((Dan))) What you are feeling is really normal. Trust me.

The first two months after H and I split, I stayed in the spare room at XH's house. It was awful, but I knew I was going to be no good to D12. I couldn't take care of her at all. All I did was cry. I had constant thoughts of running away and changing my name, starting somewhere new where no one knew me.

And then I thought, I really don't want D12 to remember me as the mother who left. I would miss her terribly. Am I perfect? Heck no. When I finally got my own place, I spent the entire time I was in that house in my room lying in bed. D12 was still on her own too much.

And then I ended up in my apartment, where I made sure that would not happen again. I put the TV in the living room so I would have to force myself to come out of my room, and started interacting with D12 again.

I think that our WAS's don't realize that this is a life altering change. We are hurt so badly that sometimes it is hard just to get out of bed in the morning, to take that next breath, to figure out what's for dinner. They have just picked up and determined they are happier without us, walked away, and left us to pick up the pieces.

The kids say what the parent wants to hear. They want love from everyone, and trust me, kids can manipulate. Besides, it seems to me that Mom doesn't spend enough time with them, so they are doing what they can to get her attention. They are small, and don't realize that they are getting you into trouble.

Just take it one day at a time, and try to breath...