Although I haven't posted in a little while, I have been reading your threads all along, including the latest. I can't add much that hasn't been addressed above. I'm not sure if your specific question is about how to best handle his boorish behavior, or if it's "what's his REAL problem/what's he thinking???".
If it's the former: you let the text conversation (or if this happens in person at other times) go on WAY too long. The first f-bomb he drops on you, you need to STOP ALL CONVERSATION and say "you do not get to talk to me that way. Please call me when you're ready to behave like a human being." PERIOD. I suspect he's done this for awhile. This is NEVER acceptable, but all the more so that he does NOT get to question you on your comings and goings now that he's having an affair!
If it's the latter: I would say it's EVERYTHING. I think it's the gambling, and I think it's the OW, and I think it's the paternity, and I think it's the divorce ... I think it's ALL that. As someone said above, this is a man (a child, really, emotionally) that is used to having his way, and is used to being rescued from the consequences of his poor decisions.
And now there's no lifeboats on the horizon anywhere.
And he's panicking.
I think he's likely going to crash, very hard, and SOON.
Not sure if that helped or not, but I'll check back on your thread here soon.
