Thanks for answering my questions I understand your sitch much better. Your H is a lot like I was as I have said before. Unfortunuately he has not learned from anything you have done or said. Getting thru to him will be tough. I do not think he realizes the part he has played in getting your M to this point.
For a long time I blamed our problems on my W. If she would do this or that than we would be happy. Never truely comprehending how I was contributing to the distruction of our M. She gave subtle hints but never coming out and saying what she wanted or needed directly.
I know you have but apparently not in a way that he will listen. My only imput is that if you are commited to making your M work you will need to understand that he also wants to make it work. I know it does not seem like it but he does not know how and you are not telling him in a way that he understands.
He is fighting your efferts because he feels that he has done all the bending. He thinks you should change, you should say your sorry for leaving and you should be the one that needs to make him feel better. True or not but more than likely that is how he feels.
Again I am just telling you how I felt and was thinking for a long time. My W did nothing to wake me up except give me the ILYNILWY speech. You would think moving out would have woken him up but it has not. Hopefully the MC can help you explain it to him in a non threatening manner. Men are stubborn creatures that do not like to admit we are wrong.
Also anger is a tough emotion to control and until he acknowledges he has the problem and gets help it will be tough for him to overcome. And that is a major roadblock to repairing any M. Good luck, I wish I had a way to get thru to him but I do not right now.
