Sending positive vibes to my H!

[upside_downer]

suzanne- i guess we didn’t fight really pre bomb- it was more his unhappiness for many months and a slow progression to the bomb. i have now learned that i was not hearing what he needed to say. he just needed to talk and have me hear him. sometimes when you are in the middle of all the drama its hard to see what is needed....he tried to pick fights with me the first few weeks-he was angry and trying to have "reasons" to not like me. now thats not that case and he is very sweet to me and gentle- he is literally purging all of his past, skewed angry thoughts that he thought was me and realizes now was his sh*t.

this would not have happened if i reacted, screamed, cried, belittled, was vindictive or mean, etc. it happened bc i shut my mouth, validated and listened. the hardest thing i have ever had to do. but its here to stay.

Pisces, you really need to show me. This is EXACTLY what my W has told me- straight to my face no less, was/is one of the biggest issues. I am such a fixer. I am such a bleeding heart that when someone is in pain, I feel I want to feel it with them, experience it with them, and understand them. That's what got me in this mess, and I can't seem to stop being selfish. Please.....teach me the way.