5 yr DBer, "Joint" D now in progress

[cat03]

sweets, you are not leaving a moment too soon, the man is a mess, as it is you've put up with WAY too much!

And I am confused- if I truly have love and compassion then am I supposed to try to stay w. H even after how he treats me???

You can still have compassion as you step away from abuse, which is what he doles out on you, verbal/emotional abuse, which is as bad or worse than physical abuse. You can still pray for person as you step away from their toxic cloud, I pity stbx and am in the process of forgiving him for all the indignities he's done to me, out of love to God I pray for him and try not to be the ex from hell, I could you know, he' deserver every bit of it, but I won't, that's love and compassion.

Why do I blame myself and think I'm not a good enough person.

For one, all the trash he's talking is getting to you, also, our society has cast a dark aura over divorced people so that's why you fee like you've failed. In reality you've hanged for so long and put up with so much in efforts to have a good M, but it takes two for that to happen, you could've been Mother Theresa and still he would've been the same jerk he is now, he's an unhappy lost person who spews out the venom that is eating him. The man is not mentally well.

I think this D is probably the biggest personal catalyst yet

yes! because God can bring success out of ashes, you will do great hon))))))))))