Oh no, I never verbalized wanting the divorce or anything like that! I just wasn't going to fight my husband because he would have definitely fought against me to the end. In word choice, knowing your spouse and how they will react to the words is probably the best you can do. For puppy this is what worked for him, for me it wouldn't have.... Many things I didn't need to say in words. My H already knew my commitment to my family, and keeping it together. I didn't need to say the words. It came out in my manner and actions. I didn't have a lot of time so I chose to avoid R and D talk (like recommended in DB and DR) as much as possible and just try to make my H my friend.
Legally, I was always very careful about words and particularly careful about anything in writing, or on the computer!!! I did make certain there was nothing that could legally hurt my case in court or be used against me.
I did originally tell my H I didn't want the D... and I told my lawyer this. These were the words. I just didn't keep repeating it or when I did I said it in non-pursuing ways. My H knew where I stood.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
