My thanks to both of you. God help me, I don't know which end is up.
I'm engaged in anger management counseling, marriage improvement counseling at church, and direct advanced spiritual counseling based on Stu Weber's Tender Warrior with the church pastor.
I've been trying not to say anything negative about her to her relatives, including in-laws, and her youngest daughter and son-in-law are talking to me, but won't let me in their apartment any more. Although Keri (the daughter) has been civil by her own initialization, I can feel the undercurrent of animosity from her.
But now I'm starting to think I'm chasing something I don't really want. There are some things that are starting to occur to me upon reflection of the entire 26 years we had together. And although it started with hunches, what also stirred it up was one of the things my wife smugly snapped at me the last day before she left: "Remember how you used to say that you're the smartest person you know? Well, you're not!" That, and the tremendous self-confidence she showed that week preparing to go, and her incredible, unprecedented demonstration of vehemence in front of the police officer on her last visit to the apartment all have me putting together some pieces. I'm not really liking where this is taking me, but I think it's looking all too plausible.
When I first met Rose, it was working with her. She was in her first marriage. A year after meeting, I got involved with her, and I know why. She laid the tears on me and started telling me how bad her husband was.
Then once we were involved in a full-fledged affair (abbr. escapes me) for a couple years, she told me she'd had 6 other affairs during her marriage and told me each man's name. But when I brought her admission up during our arguments for the last week we were living together, she denied having them or telling me that and claimed she didn't know any of the names. Yet, I knew 2 of the guys were still living in town.
