(((di))) You have got to detach...for your own well being.
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No response from H about letter, or the other 6 or 7 e-mails I've sent over the past week. It's ok now. I just hope he is thinking, and not feeling pressured.
I believe everytime your H gets one of your emails, he probably feels a little sick inside and he may or may not read it. Every email is reminder of his responsibilities and what he can't handle...exactly what he is trying to escape from for the time being. You have to let him escape for now so he can heal. Have you ever had something that you just put off dealing with because you just didn't know how to handle it? That is what someone in MLC does but on a larger scale. They are avoiding. If a LBS is continually pushing to get answers or even just explain their feelings, it will more than likely produce the opposite result of what they are trying to achevieve. We keep telling you you need to stop the emails unless it is some "business" about the kids or financial matters. Think about what you are trying to accomplish with your email before you send it. Any email that is to address your thoughts or feelings, delete it before you send it. Your H can't deal with that now. You have to LET IT GO. Think about the fact that your email may doing the exact opposite of what you want it to... plus when you send an email to your H and he doesn't respond, doesn't that bother you? I know it would hurt me.
I typically do not initiate any contact with my H and it seems to be helping him and drawing him slowly toward me. What does that mean? I am not sure what we are doing but I think we are somehow rebuilding some kind of relationship and I think my H is feeling safe with me. You have kids with your H so for their sake you need to have the best possible relationship with your H. Please detach. Give him time and space to figure things out. Focus on the positives you do have and let go
Sorry if it sounds like I am coming down hard on you. I know you are doing whatever you can to make it through the day but if you can be more detached, things will get easier.
