Another one joins the flock (Part II)

[Mike85]

Jack:

To be honest, I don't know anything about my cousin's marriage, other than what he tells me. Therein, I believe, is the key. I see him once a year at a family reunion. We used to hang as kids, but that was over 20 years ago.

Our personalities are quite different - he's an ER doctor, in a rock band, does mountain biking, and is the bigger, bolder, broader personality in his marriage. His wife, OTOH, hardly says "boo." My cousin swears that their experiences made them a stronger couple, but that doesn't answer questions like: "What were you, as a couple, like prior to the crisis?" or "What were the major issues that led to the crisis?" or "HOW are you stronger?" Sure, they may be stronger now, according to him, but was the standard for comparison?

From the description of their crisis (she hounded him to change & pay more attention, and he ignored her until she had her bags packed), he was not dealing with a wife in MLC.

I've come to the conclusion that although I appreciate his concerns, that he and his wife are not me and my wife, that their issues are not OUR issues, and therefore that their solutions may not be OUR solutions.

It took a lot of my walking around the village today (it is a beautiful day) to sort a lot of this out. Thank goodness I've got a session with my counselor in about an hour...