Pieces are Coming Together

[Torchbearer]

I haven't been out here for awhile and I thought I would provide an update and a little inspiration.

H has been home since the end of December and all of stuff was back at our house by February. We have been doing very well since then.

I am very concious of my passive-aggressive tendencies and address them to myself often. It has affected how I behave towards H in a good way and exercises some of Michele's teachings. It makes me think: "How is what I'm going to say going be taken? Is it going to be positive or ruin the rest of my day?" For us with PA it's very helpful. It gets a lot of the negativity into perspective. In reality there hasn't been a lot of negativity.

We are both responsive to the others needs. I work to support him and encourage him to do what he needs to (play guitar, get together with the guys, etc.) and show him that I trust him. I also respond to his LL and we touch and hug a lot.

He helps around the house and volunteers to take on the extra little tasks that over time drive me insane. He assures me he loves me regularly and has even brought me flowers twice! He also got me a gift for our engagement anniversary. We don't usually do anything so it was an extra special treat.

We haven't forgotten our trials of last fall/winter and I think that is important. It serves as a constant reminder as to how far we've come and why we can't slip back into our old behaviors. We talk about some of the events that happened to us independently during our S, but not in a bad way. It is just something that happened. It is over and we are a team again.

My family has been extremely supportive and act as though nothing happened. They don't bring up the separation. They are loving and supportive of both mine and his endeavors in life.

I'm sure over time that we won't have to work as hard, but I know the rewards are worth it.