Thinking of biting the bullet

[ACJ]

The meeting this morning with my L was good. She told me to forgot, for now, about D proceedings and to concentrate on financials only as that is of paramount importance. She has given me some 'homework' to do so I will get on with tomorrow. Needed to get my head round it first. In a nutshell when it came to Hs dirty tricks campaign she told me I could either join him and give up working so he will have to pay but it wouldn't keep a roof over our head or just dig in for the long haul. If I want to retain my dignity and my sanity it will have to be the long haul. Legally there is nothing she can do about his stunts.

I've seen another job advertised today which would suit me far better than the other one. However it is in London and I live in the North of England. If there were just me I would have no qualms about applying for it and moving. However there isn't just me and although I do intend to run it past D13 in particular I almost know now what she will say and it won't be what I want to hear.

I'm currently trying to decide if I can afford to committ to another round of tennis lessons but as the first one is tonight I need to do it quickly. I love going but I have to tighten my belt and GAL activities will unfortunately have to be the first to go.

I feel like my whole life is about decisions right now. They probably aren't any different to the decisions that I've been making for the last 20 years of M life but they just seem so much more magnified and the responsibility that lies behind them is beginning to feel like too much pressure. I almost just want someone to tell me what to do for a while so that I can go on auto pilot and recharge my very achy brain.