Kelly Jo: My step one came from a very unlikely place...
I went to see a curandera, who is a spirital healer. I knew that I needed help dealing, and although I go to a Christian church, my beliefs are very different, because I don't think you can put spirituality into a box. So I wanted to know what I could do. She had me do a cleansing, and then a lot of praying with candles and stuff like that, and I have to tell you, it gave me peace almost from the very first day. It gave me something else to focus on, and that help in a way that I cannot even begin to tell you.
Once I found the first step to focusing somewhere else, the rest came a lot easier. It is just a matter of finding your nitch...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Okay, find my nitch, find myself? At least a step in the right direction anyways. The internet is a wonderful thing. I just found a list of places in my area that have music tonight.
Wonder if I can search for a curandera? I'll try anything at this point.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I spent Saturday night camped out with my sister and her friends. It was fun but I really wanted to be home with my husband. Of course, he wanted the space.
This morning I saw an email he sent on Sunday to a friend to say that he was doing fine because he could now see how life would be like without a spouse.
OH MY GOD! I DB'ed this weekend for real but I am so blown away. Am I wasting my time. Is his mind already made up? Is he just going to divorce me no matter what?
Somebody please hit me and let me know if I am reading too much into this or if I am being a fool for hoping.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Neil and sgctxok, Yes I looked. I guess because I don't trust him in front of me telling me something completely different. He is telling me he loves me and is confused. What the email sounds like is he has his mind made up.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Remember to believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.
see above about your insecurities. It's normal....sometimes, ignorance is bliss. I feel this way all the time. I want to know, but i dont' want to know. I choose not to know. Doesn't make a difference to me...i'm going to continue doing what i've learned...and believe it will make a difference. The power of a positive mind is amazing
Do i have to drive out there to hit you with a 2x4............no more snooping!!! cmon....you're doing good. keep it up!
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
I sent him a text to call me on his lunch. I'd left a note in his car and I am just going to ask if he has any feedback. My heart is so sore right now.
I know it isn't helping me to look. But, if he is saying one thing to my face and another thing to his friends, I don't think he's lying to his friends. I guess I just have to decide what to do now.
I want to believe that changes in me can allow changes in our relationship. I really want to believe that.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
