Left the Rollercoaster - Now what???

[No Longer BH]

ARGG......I SUCK at NC. So, went to pick my son up at the half way point and STBX wanted to talk to me about money before we left. I have pressured him that he needs to pay S past school bill before Mon for about 3 weeks now. He was suppose to use the federal check but spent it on OW instead...anyway I digress. It then turns angry with both of us using our polite voices clenched. He's mad because I spent 1700 on a lawyer that could have been used for the school. In his opinion I did not think about the consequenses spending that money NOW had on S. I replied back that he should not have spent fed check, that it was our money not his. Conversation then moved to the fact that he is upset with the one sided decisions I keep making. I replied that he is no longer part of my life so he is not my concern when making decisions for ME.

He then wanted to know why I was not going back to work. I told him I couldnt because of medical reason, but my medical issues were private and he was no longer privy to that info. I did then tell him that I would be asking for indefinate support. He got mad at that....."So your just going to try and live off of MY money? How is that moving on?"

I responded that it had nothing to do with moving on, that I was trying to provide the best financial security for S. Didnt he want that as well? I then said, "You get more than 50% to just pay for you while I will get prob less than 50% to pay for me and S. Hows that for fair."

Then, we start talking about how this whole thing has just turned so ugly between us. That we will never be friends. He then looks at me and says, "Just so you know, I am sorry for the A. It truly complicated everything and I wish I had handled things so differently. I know that if that would not have happened, we could have parted as friends, now we cant."

So at least he is now acknowlegding that he did something wrong. This is more than the "I dont regret sleeping with her. She was fun." that I had been getting from him. I prob will not ever get anything more from him, but I least I know he knows he f'ed up. That is some solace.

So, I slipped, but at least I got an apology. Back to the NC tomorrow...not for him but for me.