In the AM, I took this green-tea supplement L-Theanine to calm my nerves. Saw it recommended to someone else on another thread here. I think it helped? I dunno, but I was calmer.
My H came over, and his face lit up when he saw me. I'm sure mine did, too. We hugged, and I almost burst into happy tears, but I kept it well under control.
We went to lunch and I could tell that he was nervous. I was dressed to turn heads in a casual way. And heads, they did turn. I was smiling and jovial the whole time, made him laugh, was a smarta$$, complimented him, asked questions, and validated his answers. Treated him like I would a good friend. Better, actually. He was responsive if a bit quiet, said he felt anxious over discussing our legal arrangements, which we did after lunch.
We came back here and sat down and talked about what we were going to do, and I kept listening and validating. We talked about our finances, our stuff, all in a very calm, friendly way. Then he said, "I want this to be smooth and fair, because I know how difficult this has been for you." I teared up slightly, and looked away and said "I appreciate that." When I looked back, he had tears in his eyes and was trying very hard not to lose it. I said, "I know how difficult it's been for you, too." Then I went over and gave him a hug. This plus the text I got the other night...seems like there are some cracks in the wall forming.
We agreed to be friends, and I told him that I wanted to continue to help him on a project I had been helping him with before the bomb. I could tell he was surprised & touched, and said he would think about it.
All in all, he lingered long after we were done talking about that stuff. We spent about 4 hours together in total. When he left I hugged him goodbye and told him that it was really good to see him. (For those of you keeping track at home--that's 3 hugs total).
He's going to continue researching all our legal stuff, but like I said, my feeling is that we'll end up with a legal S because of the health insurance. We have to meet again soon when we have all our financial stuff in front of us, including the value of stuff we own, and just knock things out into some kind of separation agreement.
I feel good, at peace, I'm fine with our arrangements so far, and so pleased at how I handled myself today. For the first time I feel like I can be consistent at this DB thing.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
I was smiling and jovial the whole time, made him laugh, was a smarta$$, complimented him, asked questions, and validated his answers. Treated him like I would a good friend. Better, actually. He was responsive if a bit quiet, said he felt anxious over discussing our legal arrangements, which we did after lunch.