Really upside down #2

[Continuing]

I hadn't sen your most recent posts when I post my response, oops.

My wife said similar things to me to (never attracted, never really loved me like I loved her). But what is it that they say here, don't believe hardly anything they say and only 50% of what they do. People can do some pretty impressive mental gymnastics to keep themselves from feeling the total experience of what they are doing. I think saying this like this is a way of justifing their actions and maybe deep down, to hurt us like we hurt them. These things that they say may have some truth to them but it was NOT the whole story. Its just convenient for it to be the whole story right now.

I've heard the analogy of drop the rope. The way I interpret it, or at least the way I'm tempted to get on with it is to lose all contact because I'm struggling. But that is bad, right?

Eh....I struggle with this too. Objectively, no its not bad, as in you are breaking a rule. You do what you need to do. If having no cantact for a while allows you to detach then do it. Its for you! But i know, subjectively, that then your minds goes to "but what message does it send her"? But then I think that our actions are, once again, being governed by our wives and we are not totally separate...again. Just what I'm thinking right now anyway, I might change my mind, HA.