Just sending you a message of support. I'm sorry you're hurting right now.
I think your H sounds like a big ol' bozo right now! Guess what - we ALL have discussions with our spouses at parties, etc. when we get upset. Who even cares if you DID cause a scene?! Is he married to friends or you?
You need to come first and it sounds like he needs to recognize that.
You should take things slow so that you've thought this out and it's what you really want, but don't forget that CA has a 6 month waiting period. Just because you file doesn't mean it's going to happen overnight.
