Alien invasion 3.0

[hoosiermama]

Okay, a couple of fresh dilemmas.

When H picked up D today, I asked him to be a bit careful with money (we still have a joint account) until payday. He had had a rather large car repair bill, a vacation payment, and the therapy appointments; lately we've typically had some large bank fees for overdrafts because it's very difficult to manage a joint acct in the middle of this. This has always set him off, but I don't know how else to communicate these things; H just doesn't do money, has never managed his own bills, prefers not to deal with it. Except to spend it--and even now he's not overspending, he just refuses to keep track or keep records. Consequently we have never managed money well--it takes communication, and he refuses to do so. So of course he hit the ceiling again, yelling about how it's "like a sieve" and "I can't make any more money than I do." Typical nonsense. I don't spend wildly, especially now; therapy is expensive and we're all doing it, and we have a lot of debt. He really has no idea what the monthly bills are, and prefers not to know. I'm just afraid that he's going to make a big issue of this if/when we move to D--but I honestly have done nothing wrong, hidden no money, not spent irresponsibly. Any thoughts on this?

Also--we have another MC session later this week. Last time around wasn't terribly productive--we talked primarily about his visitation of D, since he had blown her off a few times. In the midst of it, the OW situation came up. MC said something along the lines of, in these situations we often have our own truths, but facts are facts and she needed to know if there was an OW. H lied and said "no, there is not." I confronted him after the session, as MC moved us on from there. Seems H doesn't like the word "affair," absolutely refuses to discuss it with me (but had a real issue about me drawing the line at D meeting OW--who doesn't exist?). I have a real problem with H lying during MC, blatantly lying when he knows that I know the truth. I think it's worth re-visiting, because I don't know that I can trust his input into this process if he's going to lie. He thinks I'm going to "bring it up in court," he keeps mentioning that he thinks I'm "trashing" him to D even tho I'm not and I've expressed how important it is to me that they have a positive relationship. More BS to place blame on me and deflect it from himself. So, opinions, please--should I bring up the lie from the past session in the upcoming one? And yes, I have proof, which I can bring with me if needed. Anyone?

Puppy, care to weigh in on this one? Thanks.