So the changes I have been making, though good for me, have been done w/ H always in the back of my mind.
There is nothing wrong with making changes to things which were destructive in your relations. That's one of the chapters. On the flip side, one can make changes with the spouse in the back of the mind and they may not be the changes which will restore the marriage. We just have to remember that there is more to life than that.
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I am going to try to let go completely. It is still very scary and I know I will fall down many more times. But I will really try to make today the first day of My New Life, and see where it will take me. To be honest, I am terrified...
It's ok to be terrified. We all fall down. Funny how being a human being will do that to us. But it is better to keep trying and to fail a few times than to never try. I have a theory. This came to me right after my bomb and before I ever heard of Divorce Busting. It goes like this. The changes I need to make to save my marriage are the same changes I need to make if my marriage is not saved. Also, one not only has to understand the destructive pattern, but one has to have a persona outside of a marriage or any relationship for that matter. This fits with the chapter which tells us to make ourselves happy for a change. Because if your whole person is defined by your marriage, or any relationship for that matter, you are not a successful person.
Good luck in your quest to find yourself, fooled again. It all starts with the decision to do so.
