If you start dating, then it's ok to tell her you're dating.
If you decide that the marriage is over, it's ok to tell her you've decided you're done.
Until then, you are lying to her.
The same thing you accuse her of.
And as for the old BF, unless you are absolutely sure she has directly lied to you about her involvement with him, you had best keep your mouth shut about it. With the WAS, there is little that is more unforgivable than an unjustified accusation.
Talk about setting things back a few notches...
The thing is, if she's contemplating a relationship with this guy, then that's where she is and what she's doing. I can agree with you completely that it sucks, it's wrong, etc, but there's nothing either of us can do about it.
If you have conclusive evidence, and she is lying repeatedly about it, I think you are justified to make it a topic of conversation. Only because at that point, she has compromised her integrity and is treating you as a fool. But even then, it's not an accusation and condemnation. It's a simple matter of putting the truth on the table and insisting that the both of you at least be honest with each other.
As for you, you are still too attached to her and what she does. Detachment is a process and takes time, but you also have to focus your efforts on it. You cannot continue to allow her actions to be the basis for your emotional state.
Less on her. More on you.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
