Had EA or PA, broke it off but still miss them?

[smokry]

You hurt your husband big time when you had the affair. It is amazing that you are critical of your husband for still getting angry for being betrayed and somehow not trusting you. Instead of posting about how much you miss the OM you should be asking for advice on how to help your husband get over the horrible pain of your betrayal.

Oh excuse me...i wasn't Quite clear on the DETAILS!!!For 7 years of our 8 years of marriage- he spent 3 to 5 nights in a BAR drinking and coming home at all hours of the morning. I STAYED home and raised our babies...while he was off having a GOOD time. He always said he was TOO strong to fall for anyone and have an affair..that he was just going to the bars to RELAX. He met a woman and they exchanged phone numbers..he ended up going to her house one night and he didn't come home until 4am...He SWEARS that nothing happened and that he left because he knew he was in the wrong place..RIGHT!! It took the OM to TELL ME what I had already suspected...Because of his financial irresponsibility- we put a VERY successful businesss into bankruptcy as well as filing a personal bankruptcy...He REFUSES to get financial help and will NOT listen to any one about money....We separated last year for 6 months and have been back together for 8...we are just about back to square one because of his drinking and financial problems...The REASON the DOOR was open to me having an EA was because he was NEVER home and was always drinking and not handling any problems...for SEVEN years i waited for him and i finally got tired and just gave up. It was STUPID to have the affair- and I know that...I wish to God it had never happened because I thought I was BETTER than that...but am I real worried about breaking his freakin heart???Hell no! I had a choice...but he had a choice too! Am I worried about breaking his heart when he has busted up two doors...torn one off the hinges and thrown it at me...punched holes in the wall.. and thrown a hairspray can at my face (twice-the first time missed) busting open my head...leaving me with a huge scar that I am after a year still going to a cosmetic surgeon to have fixed...My 16 year old daughther had to drive me to the ER room at 5am that morning and waited for me to have stitches put in...Should anyone's daughter or child have to do THAT for their MOM!!! I didn't call the police...I FORGAVE him...I realize that I HURT HIM...and I didn't mention all the stuff about him in my previous post because I didnt want to BASH him...but since i'm being attacked for my actions...I might as well tell it like it is...There are REAONS that people have AFFAIRS...I'm not saying it's RIGHT...it just happens sometimes before you know it...It's ALL i can do right now to NOT call the OM and talk to him because i know i would hear a friendly, cheerful voice...My H may be having a hard time getting over the affair but I am also having a HARD time getting over all the crap he has done to me...and what I just wrote was JUST the tip of the iceberg...I apologize for not being more clear because I assume if I had- your post might not have been so negative...

....hmmmm....is it worth it....right now, I don't think so...who needs this crap???