I have not talked to H in over 2 weeks. Sometimes I feel good about it and sometimes I wonder if I'm giving off an "I don't care about you " vibe.
I don't want to push him away but I want to move ahead.
I'm feeling alot better about my self esteem about my looks and personality.
Not that I didn't take care of myself before but now I'm more assured about who I am and what I want.
This is me...this is who I am and the verbal lashing and putting down that H used to do was not the real me. It was his shortcommings about himself.
I'm making decisions about how fast and far I'm to go on this journey but I'm really having some self doubt. I suppose along with my job being eliminated I'm feeling a little down.
I guess I'm questioning my self worth when it comes to work this ahs really been a blow. I am able to go back to being a custodian in one of the schools. Not that this is a bad thing as I was one for 15 years but that I loved my position in Human Resources as it was always mind challenging.
I taught myself the computer programs that I need to learn and found that when I'm learning my self worth would accumulate.
Now it feels that I'm going backwards.
I just want to be going forward with my journey. I feel that this is a giant setback for me.
E
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
