Oldtimers: Return or not..what finally happened?

[NNP1965]

I joined this site on 07/04/05, just a couple of weeks after WCW. When I think of all the people who joined around the same time as us and the people who posted to me and I to them... almost everyone is divorced and has moved on with their lives and left this site. I wish more of them would come back and tell us how they are doing.

I do not feel I am your typical DB'er. My H has dropped several bombs over the years, but has never actually left me. Along the way this became more about saving my life than saving my marriage. I started seeing a counselor in June of 2006 and it took a year before I could see how it was helping me. I was dead and didn't even know it. Over the past year I have faced the abuse I suffered as a child and reestablished relationships with a lot of family.

I was able to stop snooping and became very good at detaching (although I am no good at explaining how to do so). At this point I think I could easily be a WAW. It would be the easy thing to do. BUT I believe in marriage, I believe that God made this marriage and now that I am awake (or alive) I think it is my job to do the hard work to make it what it should be. But at some point my H will have to join me in that work. Only time will tell if we are up to it.