Ready to GAL...Drop the Rope...Detach..2...

[ddstartingover]

Well, I didn't make it. Soon after writing my last post I left the house to find him. I don't know where he was. He wasn't at his house, he wasn't at his office. He said he was furniture shoppin. I finally reached him by phone. We talked awhile and he agreed to meet and talk in person. He had no "shopping" items in his truck. His choice was to have dinner while we talked. We sat there and talked awhile and I realized his left hand was under the table. I asked if I could hold it. He had taken his wedding band off. He made excuses. He said that he noticed many times that I didn't wear mine and it made him mad. He mentioned a recent softball tournament that we went to that I didn't wear it. I told him that I had forgotten it at home that time. I even mentioned that I couldn't believe I forgot it---he said he thought I just said that because I was driving and he would notice I didn't have my ring on. I told him that if it made him so angry why did he not take his off until he moved out? Of course my gut says he takes it off when he goes to see OW and didn't have time to put it back on before he met me. Which I guess its good that he doesn't have the nerve to be with her with his ring on. I don't know. He aplogized and said he would put it back on. I told him the truth---that many times I haven't had mine on because after taking it off to do work in the kitchen I often can't get it back on-----since I've gained all this weight "dealing" with THIS. He apologized for assuming. But then, I've made it extremely clear where I stand in all of this, and there is no way I'm going to let him blame the fact that he took his ring off when he moved out on me. It makes me angry, and very sad.

I gave him many opportunities to tell me. He didn't. I could see him searching when he looked at me. He is empty. I could see that when I looked at him.

I still don't know what the separation is going to be like, I don't know how to do this. I wish I hadn't forced the meeting---because now I have the vision of him without his ring on in my head. But, this is how we get through it all................ or at least I do..............make the mistake, regret it, learn from it, do a little better................