After leaving another VM last night wanting to talk to S5, & another one again this evening, H finally left a message at my mother's house to have S5 call him. (She said her phone rang all day, a message was never left though.)
When I arrived, I dialed for S5 & held the phone to his ear. It must have been a very unsatisfying call, b/c S kept saying he didn't want to talk & gave a couple of short answers to "are you having fun?", "who are you playing w/right now?", said Good Bye & wanted to hang up, so I did w/out a word from me. It was all of 30 seconds, but fulfilled his request.
I found something out today that has me a little disturbed. H has had a PI investigating "The yacht guy" that I lightly dated. I haven't been w/anyone except H, but he doesn't know that. It was pretty extensive; financial history, marriage history & pictures of the yacht. It was done after the 4th of July weekend, after I turned him down on taking everyone (SIL,boyfriend & nephew) to the beach for the day that Sunday, & 3 days after I ignored his offer to take back "The Offer", if I would let him spend the 4th w/us.
It was a couple of days later that he checked my phone & probably my computer.
Why would he do that?
I feel the pressure mounting...better get some sleep so I can handle it well.
Good job with the contact. The other bit is a bit more or a worry . I am a bit tired so the old brain is not working too well at the moment. I am trying to put myself in your H's shoes and he is realy showing a lot of jealousy. He still wants you under his control I would say and you are not playing his game right now and thats got him spinning. Right now he is trying to figure if your recent changes have been due to an OM. This is not the actions of someone who is done and he is not liking these new boundaries.
Good job with the contact. The other bit is a bit more or a worry . I am a bit tired so the old brain is not working too well at the moment. I am trying to put myself in your H's shoes and he is realy showing a lot of jealousy. He still wants you under his control I would say and you are not playing his game right now and thats got him spinning. Right now he is trying to figure if your recent changes have been due to an OM. This is not the actions of someone who is done and he is not liking these new boundaries.
I guess this PI is going to be able to tell him that there is nothing really going on with you and Yacht Guy.. which kind of sucks since it seems to be a thorn in your H's side thinking you're moving on with Mr. Yacht Guy.
His behaviour is SOOOO OC or controlling. For someone that would go away with the ow before and not bother contacting your son.. and now he calls your Mom to get his way...
Never a dull moment on your side of the world, right? Your H as everybody else says is a control freak. And jealous. Why else would he go and hire a PI? Unless he is trying to build a case against you somehow?
Yep, hang in there, let's see what he'll think of next. K
I guess this PI is going to be able to tell him that there is nothing really going on with you and Yacht Guy.. which kind of sucks since it seems to be a thorn in your H's side thinking you're moving on with Mr. Yacht Guy.
His behaviour is SOOOO OC or controlling. For someone that would go away with the ow before and not bother contacting your son.. and now he calls your Mom to get his way...
Hang in there. I think he's about to implode!
Hugs, W2G
I tend to agree with this. Now, more than ever Sunny, is the time for you to play things cool and steady.
He still wants you under his control I would say and you are not playing his game right now and thats got him spinning. Right now he is trying to figure if your recent changes have been due to an OM.
Considering it came on the heals of my change in attitude, where I'm not afraid of his response, etc., I think you're right Dave.
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I guess this PI is going to be able to tell him that there is nothing really going on with you and Yacht Guy.. which kind of sucks since it seems to be a thorn in your H's side thinking you're moving on with Mr. Yacht Guy. (W2G)
It also lets him know what kind of threat, if any, OM poses. He prolly wants to know how much he has & if it's more than he has, just a guess.
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All these frantic phone calls to talk to your son seem uncharacteric. Add the concern about his snooping.
What does your Bulls*t Meter say, register? (Gypsy)
Registers high on the BS meter, like I said, he was able to go for days without calling S before, what's the difference now.
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Never a dull moment on your side of the world, right? Your H as everybody else says is a control freak. And jealous. Why else would he go and hire a PI?
Hi SweetK, I can't think of another reason except control of me is slipping thru his fingers.
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I tend to agree with this. Now, more than ever Sunny, is the time for you to play things cool and steady.
Puppy
I'm a little nervous about him coming back. I know he's going to step thing's up.
I found that he does have all the info about a house to rent near here, starting at the end of next month & I absolutely don't want him 4 blocks away camping out w/OW. He said he may just give my friend & her family notice & move back into our old house. That bothers me too, but I'm still feeling like I can detach. Nothing I can do beyond telling him my preferences, which I've already done.
Any suggestions on how to go.....it's been the same pattern so far; I get fed up...he tells me it's over, he's going to move forward, rent/buy a house & start keeping S5 a lot more. I start to back down, but move further away from spending time w/him-no intimacy. He acts like he doesn't care, but pulls in my other family members & shows how he can't do enough for them.
I broke the pattern by not responding to calls/email & not having any contact since last Weds. Should I keep that up?
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How did you find out, by the way???
I have my sources L
Also found that he did bail her out of foreclosure in March. This OW is going to hold on for dear life & not let go. She'll probably do whatever it takes to get me to finally call it a day.
