Trixi trying to find moorage

[MaxP]

I called H, said that in thinking about it, I was being a butt and would have probably felt the same way. That I had forgotten that he friend couldn't drive and was 'stuck' there; and given how tired he was and how early he had to get up, it was completely understandable and that I was sorry for being a butt.
He said "Ok. No problemo." I said "So I'm forgiven?" and he said "Yup. You're forgiven."

So, at least I did the right thing there.

Hey Trixi,

One of the things that I sometimes pick up on in your threads about the way you interact with your H is illustrated here. It's struck me that it may be worth commenting on. In this instance, it's your comment to your H "So I'm forgiven?". I'm not sure whether it is the way you write things down or what, but to me it comes across as a negative interaction pattern. Why? Well, what you have done in apologising is really great but this last question (of him) feels unecessary to me and if I was your H would feel like pushing.

Obviously, I can't see how this plays out in real life. It may also be very much a guy thing here, but I think it might be helpful to let conversations end without dropping in this last question. I know that you are seeking clarification and reassurance, but you may fare better with your H by not doing it. Just an observation. Perhaps some of the other guys round here might add their perspective. It might be just something that I've picked up on as being something to change but others don't agree with.

Take care,

Max