Late night ramble (ish - not too thoughtful tonight). What precipitated it tonight? Nothing really. Maybe the glass of port I'm sipping - 20 year tawny. I mean, if you're going to drink port it might as well be good port.
Concern today about Dear Companion. DC has been a true friend throughout my sitch - always willing to listen, do things, etc. Problem is that DC isn't involved with anyone, hasn't been too interested in dating, and might be feeling a bit lonely. So I've had a few times where I've thought "she's not looking at me like a friend - am I imagining that?" And since it was a look, of course I was imagining. But the other night she came over and didn't seem to want to leave. I felt really awkward, to be quite honest. Is there a phenomenon of DCs being there through thick and thin and then wanting to move into a R role? Don't want to read too much into things if there's nothing to read.
I should add that a previous DC during the last break-up 9 years ago ended up seducing me. And (I have to admit), it was the best sex I've ever had. And I could have easily spent my life with her. But I was still too hung up on my STBW (we weren't married at that point) to take real notice and pretty much blew it. DC won't talk to me anymore.
W had asked me to pick up her veggie box and drop it off at the house - she's out of town until tomorrow. This was the first time I'd been in the house for a month or so. It felt .... like a dorm room. Small. A little uninviting. A Brita pitcher on the counter was full of green water - disgusting. I'm SO glad I don't live there anymore! I don't know if she thinks about it or not, but when she and I came together, we created a HOME. We both enjoyed making a space comfortable and well-designed. I'd have to say that I've done better at recreating that in my place - mainly because I've somewhat withdrawn and continue to nest - than she has in our house. Our old place feels to me like .... a dorm room. A place to crash without much invested in it.
I'd feel pretty depressed coming home to that. Instead I get to come home to discover whatever the cats have killed and brought in
I keep hearing that WAWs come back 3 times. What's up with that?
