Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

I continue to struggle with the rewriting history aspect of this. It makes me feel like I'm completely crazy because here I thought I had such a wonderful, devoted husband and that he and I were so in tune with each other. All of our friends thought that too and they are all shocked at what H has done.

I'll say that the past couple of years have been different than they were for most of our M; H was of in his own head, very irritable and explosive (which he's never been). Obviously, he was mulling all this stuff over.

But for him to imply that he's been unhappy w/me for over a decade??? That makes no sense, unless he missed his calling as an award-winning actor. It's just so confusing. How does someone begin to believe they've been living a lie (as H put it). I just don't get it and I'm not sure how to forgive him--because if he's been living a lie for years and years, then I have too, without knowing it.