So tonight we had no big kids, just the baby. The twins are with my parents at an antique show (I know what you're thinking, but they love it. Dad specializes in antiques that incorporate fire, wheels, iron, explosions . . . )
We decided to go into the big town. She wanted to go to the mall, so we walked around there for awhile. We took the baby to the playground, lazed around the bookstore, stuff like that. When we left, we were hungry, so I went looking for a new Mexican restaurant I'd heard about--and it was as good as advertised. I told her how glad I am that we've been making changes, and how lucky I felt that she was willing to change with me.
I ended up telling her about a few of the stories I've read about here, including Alimari's. "If you acted like that guy, I'd just leave you." "Yeah, understood."
So we keep talking it over and I tell her about AliMari's question in "Is Sex a Miracle?" She is adamant that Alimari should confront her husband and then leave him. "She's not being paranoid. He proved he can't be trusted." she said. "I know, that's what I said, too, but she's trying to trust him more and put it behind her. I don't know how she does it." I replied. "Well, that's not paranoid. Paranoid is worrying because your husband is going on a trip with some woman he's been talking about for years. Ha ha!"
Hmm. That was her way of bringing something up without bringing it up. You see, I recently won a drawing. About a dozen people who write about guns and shooting on the errornets were chosen to go to a famous shooting school and study with a champion pistol shooter for free. This is a big deal for me, though I recognize that most people don't see what all the fuss is about. For a shooter, this is like winning a trip to Chicago to have Brian Urlacher teach you to read an offense, or a trip to Washington so Michael Jordan can give you tips on your jump shot for a weekend. It's pretty cool. I expect to shoot not only more better, but also more fastly by the end of the weekend.
Anyway, most of the group have never met in person, but it's a fairly small community writing about these issues online, and most of us are at least familiar with each others' writing. One of the group is a woman I've known online for awhile but never met. There's never been any thought of romance, but she's fun to talk to--she's got a hojillion old guns, a bajillion old computers, and she's basically a professional slacker. I've told my wife before, I don't want to date this woman, I want to be her. I just want a hojillion antique rifles and a motorcycle.
Anyway, that's the thing that made my wife jealous. And right or wrong, I enjoyed that she was a little jealous. I wanted to reassure her that there was no rational reason to worry--I am NOT going to cheat on her, ever--but I also wanted to tell her that I was touched. First, because it feels good that she feels possessive; for years, and until VERY recently, I've told myself that she'd probably be happier if I went out and got sex from someone else and quit bothering her, and that's a bleak way to live. And second, because I know it was hard for her to admit to these feelings, and even though she did it indirectly, she did it honestly. She told me the truth. She didn't have to say anything, but the trip is a month away and then I'd be gone for five days, and I just breathe a sigh of relief knowing that this is out in the open now and we can talk about it.
Does that make any sense? No, I'm not going to cheat on you, but it kinda makes me feel good that you're thinking about it and it bothers you? It's not that I want her to be unhappy, I just like knowing that she would care.
