Alien invasion 3.0

[hoosiermama]

Well, tomorrow makes 8 weeks of separation, 8 weeks since my world blew up. I know this is only the beginning. I guess it doesn't hurt as much most of the time. D has somewhat gotten used to this and doesn't seem to be doing too badly. I'm a little more functional at work. H is somewhat more "friendly," and less inclined to punish me but I think it's only because I haven't pushed him on anything. We have another MC coming up this week to discuss how to support D thru this--altho H still doesn't seem to believe that his leaving will have much effect on her.

I can't say I've been doing much GAL'ing, if I'm honest with myself, but I've taken some baby steps. I still haven't found another job. I don't have much energy to do anything aside from putting one foot in front of the other and doing what absolutely needs to be done. I'm intensely lonely, haven't really developed a routine (but summer's often like that), don't have my house in order. I do have a better understanding of MLC, so my own situation seems less chaotic and less personal. I haven't lost my faith, altho it seems a bit harder to pray because it's harder to quiet my mind. I don't know if this is still limbo since H seems certain about what he wants, and that's not likely to change anytime soon. I don't know if he'll file once I "have my feet on the ground" with another job. No idea what's happening with OW because officially she doesn't exist. So much denial. I'm trying to detach; I think I've detached from feelings for H but I can't seem to detach from the desire to have my marriage back.

So can anyone tell me when I'll begin to feel alive again? When I don't feel like I'm in the middle of a crisis, and I can catch my breath?