Would really like WAW your opinion

[christarn]

Everhope~ You have been getting some great support/advice from the other WAS's....I am sorry you are "here", I am sorry your children are going through this...it's a tough place to be...that being said...Let's Do Work!

"I have got no anger or resentment from her".......or for her?

I can't help but wonder if you are starting to resent her because of the other man....Follow with me for a minute...
"i want to talk and touch my wife but the pain she has caused
me with OM stops me doingjust that"

In order for a R/M to start to flourish again the first step is to decrease any negativity. She is going to feel your negativity. Just as you can tell when you walk in a room and people are happy or sad...she can feel your emotion. As hard, and difficult as this is...right now, just be a friend...not a husband, treat "as if...I know you are thinking, Christa, you have lost your mind, I can't treat the mother of my children without emotion...but if you treat her like a really great looking lady that you want to persue...how would you treat her? Dispell/decompress the negativity, first step, then become friends....first two step to r/m restoration.

what are your goals/180's/what are you doing to gal

"just need to restart the marriage some how."

I think you tepping back...giving both of you some time to think could help. It is also helpful in decreasing negativity.

I have, besides all of Michelle's books, read Dr. Phil's books, Gary chapman's book 5 Love Language...figure out hers and use it to your advantage, How to improve your marriage without talking about it by patricia love, and Men are from mars women are from venus, When venus and mars collide both of the latter by John Gray....these are just a few in my relationship saving library that helped me....and kept me busy during down time...which is so very important!

EVERHOPE.....you have got to stop worrying about the OM; let go, let GOD...He will take care of OM...you take care of your children. Let them be your focus. When you are feeling discouraged remember you are fighting to hold your family together...think of how your children will be affected later by seeing you be able to work this out! what a awesome lesson your kids would learn from you...marriages are for life/worth giving it your all before a D is thought about.

I know you are hurting/frustrated...if you are spiritual or religious check out joelosteen.com and rejoiceministries.com....take life one minute, one hour, one day at a time. My theory..thanks to dr phil...do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Do you want happiness right now, or long term? The work will pay off...give it time.

Patience...patience...patience. It's the hardest part of "this"...but Everhope, you can do this, you are doing it...and kudos to you for fighting the good fight and wanting to save your marriage.

(((eh)))

I hope it helps
just my two cents...questions, comments, concerns...stop by my thread anytime and let me know!! I will check in on you!

christarn