So counseling went well. . .not sure why I got myself so worked up about it. I seriously thought I was going to throw up yesterday morning because of my nerves.
We both liked the counselor (which is half the battle from what I have been hearing) and are planning to go back again. There were a few moments where it was awkward but I did (IMHO) a really good job of listening and not interupting him when he was talking. I did acknowledge my previous disrespect and apologized. The counselor could see (like 20 minutes in) that my husband is on the fence. He is not commited to the relationship but he is not commited to leaving it either. My husband agreed. So that is a good sign.
Anyways we ended up talking for about an hour after the session and were trying to make plans to get together because the counselor told us that we need to be seeing each other on a regular basis if we are going to work things out and see if we are interested in making things work. We were going to get together last night but it did not work out because my husband was moving that day and I had to pick some friends up at the airport late that night and had to be up early this morning for a hair appt. However he did text me a lot and seemed really determined to figure it out. He said he would call me later today with his new schedual for work.
Then last night at like 12:30 he texted me to let me know he was done cleaning and was all moved out. I told him good job and thanked him for taking care of everything and he came back saying it was really for his benefit (to collect the refund check from the managers at the apartment) and I said that I knew that but that I really did appreciate his efforts and that he took care of it on his own. He finally said your welcome. It kind of showed me something. . .I have not really been sincere in my appreciation of him. He was so skeptical about me saying thank you! I ended the conversation by telling him goodnight and he wrote back goodnight.
He is working late tonight so it will probably be a day or two before we actually get together but wow! It feels like a LOT of ground was covered and a lot of bridges crossed in just a couple of hours. Never before was he writing me texts about anything he was doing. Then last night BAM! texts all over the place and late at night too when I am sure he just wanted to get home but he took the time to write me and include me.
There is still a long road to travel but at least we are on the right road! He already agreed to go to the next session which would be a one on one with the therapist and then I will have a one on one after that.
I am probably getting to hyped about this but I can't help it! It just feels good to talk to him and be around him. The next goal is to reestablish a physical connection (which used to be our biggest thing when we were dating) I personally am not making any moves. Yesterday I did flirt a little and would touch his arm or stomach but nothing over the top and nothing "pursuing." I just think it will mean a lot more to have him reach out to me and have him pursue me a little bit rather than me chasing him again. I don't know how long that will take but I am trying to remain as patient as possible.
