Meeting WAS for first time. Any advice?

[MaxP]

So, we met. We went for a drink together that lasted a couple of hours. We talked about family, work, mutual friends - basically caught up on each other's lives. No R talk other than a brief question from her about how I felt about meeting. No questions about Rs or other potential Rs either. All safe ground. I said I was nervous about meeting her but that it was more comfortable than I had expected. She said as time had gone on I had relaxed.

It was weird. When I met her where we arranged, it was like meeting a stranger. When we departed, it was different. It felt normal again. There is so much I had forgotten about her. I had forgotten just how tall and slender she is. I remember thinking at one point how cute she is too (she would hate that!). At one point she disagreed with me and did her usual put down that I hate - that raised a memory.

So it went pretty well. It was less emotional that I expected it would be for me. She said at the end if we want to meet again it would be ok. We kissed goodbye and then went our separate ways. No anger or strong emotion from either of us. It's possible we both felt a little sad.

I guess it's reminded me of how much I think we have lost, but how our approach has meant that friendship should be possible. That counts for something (well a lot really) and has been worth fighting for.

Who would have known we are married and hadn't seen each other for 9 months? Who would have known that there is no R there any more?

So I miss her and mourn for what we have lost. Just before we said goodbye a kid ran along near us, it made me think of futures lost. I feel a little low right now, sorrowful but calm and proud. Let's hope for the future, for who knows what that may bring.

It's been an odd day.

Take care all.

Max