wow a lockout.

[Gman3388]

Well I'm back.....
I'm not sure where it started to go wrong but I can say that it wasn't me. Turns out she has been having an emotional affair with a game mate of ours.
I say game mate because we both play an MMO.
I had to install a new Power supply in her comp and test it in game. Because of what she does in game (dancer) she gets alot of "tells" or IM's. So I went back through that chat list to see what other characters did etc.
I found the tells between her and him. The I love you etc. Soon baby soon and other sexual type tells.
Now this supposed friend has many a problems with an ex wife and ex girlfriends. I know...Ive heard it many a night being the good friend and trying to give him an ear.
Sure they always flirted. But he crossed a line that you just don't cross with another mans wife.
I brought this up to her and she swears there is nothing between them.
She asked me if I was smoking pot. Because to her I seemed as through I was.
I told her that I wasn't and I would take any kind of test to prove it.
She hates drugs. Over the years I had many an opportunity to smoke but I never did out of respect to her and the kids.
I still wont.
Why the hell didn't you just ask????

Last night I did alot of question asking.
Same stuff...not in love with you any more etc.
rings are off etc.
I never cried.
Im more PO'd than anything.
She wants me to leave again but I wont because, like before, I wont abandon the kids. I told her that.
She wants me to take the hard way so its easy for her.
I WONT DO IT.
I told her to take off my ring this time. I said you put it on, you take it off and if you want it over, you must pay for the divorce because I came from a family that believed in marriage....thick and thin.
She took it off and has it now.
Fine. Balls in your court you want it over you take the steps because I wont.

I was PO'd . I asked her how the hell she could she could after 11 years just call it done. She said she never could "talk" to me.
Semi not true. We talked but it took alot for her to open up.
I asked her if she was planing on taking the kids out of state.
She said she couldn't guarantee that. So you want not only call it quits but take that kids away too?
Amazing......
I didn't beg or plead. been there done that, didn't work.
I did state things on my mind with no remorse.
today she was friendly but Im still upset and she knows it.
I was civil to her but Ive had enough of the games.
I will continue to act as if and to get a life.
Maybe you could call it a 180.
Im wondering again just why for the past 3 years and always at this time of the year, it all goes belly up?
Im wondering right now if its even worth it anymore.
I do love her so very much. I don't know why.
But right now I hate her some too.