Hey Bill thx for the post. You are right about me showing her what she is going to miss. I do not want that but I guess I should have said that i need to hurry up and start living and what better way than to use the list we had made together.
I think you are right about her not wanting to heal the R but needs the D to end this one and start a new R. I have never given up on her and probably wont, but I am not going to rot away waiting for her. I will move on with my life and enjoy my kids along the way! I wish it didnt have to come down to this but everyone has their own way of dealing with their problems and this is the W solution, sucks but it something that we have to live with for the rest of our lives!
