Better than bad~ First I am sorry you are here, but welcome! Your sitch is really a tough place to be and I am sorry you are going through what you are.
I was your wife not so long ago...and I admire you for stepping up to the plate and making some attempts to listen to what she is asking for. You are "here"....so you are trying.
Have you talked with a DB coach? If not, I HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend it....mine has helped me out soooooo much! Her name is Jodi and she is just truly amazing! the first step to fixing any R/M is trying to decrease any negative feelings...be her friend...nothing more/nothing less...it freaking sucks arss, but it's the first step, and if there is hostility or anger...how can you rebuild a R let alone a M?
That being said...couches suck...but, take the high road...Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? What do you want right at this moment, or what do you want in the long run? Think long term goals here.
She is seeking out the OM because he is giving her something you are not...the question is what...more than likely it is some type of attention. Read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman...find out which one is hers...then use it to your advantage.
I'm sorry I didn't read back into your sitch, so if you have read it I'm sorry to repeat! Have you read DB/DR? There are also a ton of other great reading resources out there.
Baby steps my friend..each baby step will take you a centimeter closer than you were before.
What are your 180's? What are your goals? What are you doing to GAL?
This is a tough place to be...but there are so many awesome people to help guide and support you....
I walked away from pretty much where you and your wife are right now...fix it! It's worth it! Trust me
(((Better than bad)))) that's a virtual hug 2 you!!
questions, comments, anything...just ask,
good luck, christarn
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
