Take Away This Ball & Chain

[GoingForward]

First, Happy Birthday, Corey! I hope you have a WONDERFUL day!

Second, wow! I ditto everything Kerry had to say.

If you happen to read this before it's already happened, I hope you're able to just ignore any and all calls/texts from H today. Today is YOUR special day. Please do not let his behaviors ruin it for you.

(((((((Corey)))))))

[Maya44]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COREY!!!

[Sugar and Spice]

Sugar...
You may have seen me pop up here & there & if it's not OK for me to post thoughts here, you just let me know and I will disappear back into the woodwork

Kerry, all opinions are welcomed. Having others tell me their take on all of this nonsense is such a huge help. Some days it helps me see that H is wrong and others it helps me not to get sucked in, etc...

Sugar...
First, I wanted to offer you huge hugs & all my support. I've been following your sitch and think you are a lady of immense patience and endless class- even though your hubby surely does not deserve it.

Thanks!! You can definately stay!

That being said, he does NOT get to talk to you like that. No amount of DB'ing in the world is going to help if he thinks he is allowed to speak to you like that. The whole Jekyll & Hyde back & forth attitude swings- frankly, he scares me. Could he possibly be bipolar?

Kerry, I'm almost sure of it. My H had a chemical imbalance diagnosed when he was a kid and has been on AD's since about 16. Thing is, the dosage and meds his is on now, are the same dosage and pills he has been on for 22years. I'm certainly not a Dr. but I'm pretty sure they lose some of their effectiveness over time...just a thought. He has tried other meds and they had adverse reactions (prozac made him SUPER ANGRY...) then he seemed to even out. He was put on blood pressure medication a couple of years ago and looking back now, I can definately see a change once he started taking that.

Thats not to say that he doesn't talk this way when he is not out of his mind, he does. Its just not as bad. I know I'm justifying, but its been so much worse since all of this craziness has started.
I refused to speak to him for pretty much the rest of the day. Went to DS's game and said probably 10 words to him...he got the message. He showed up over here this morning with birthday cards and a couple of little gifts (from the kids) which was sweet, but he had to go because he and OW are playing in a Blackjack tournament today...whatever! I don't even care. Her birthday is next Saturday, so we'll see how that goes. He is just a dumbass and thats really his problem.

I think its going to take losing everything - me, our kids, our home, even her and this new kid before he really wakes up and smells the coffee. Right now his addictions are so much more important than anyone or anything else. Its sad, but there is a price for everything.

Tomorrow we are supposed to go and sign the interspousal transfer and have it notarized, I'm also having him served at that time. Then the clock starts ticking. I don't really see him filing a response so I'll just have the good faith agreement written up and file it.

Kerry, thanks so much for all of your kind words and valuable insight. I don't deserve to be spoken to that way, no one does and I don't owe him any explanations anymore, I'll have to put that into practice. I'll be "mysterious" lol! Thanks for all of the birthday wishes guys, it means a lot.

(((Kerry))) (((Sweet Girl))) (((Kalni))) (((Jeff))) (((GF))) (((Dar))). You guys are the best!!!!!

[MichelleLT]

(((((((((Corey))))))))))

Sorry I can't be around much for you.

While I can definitely sympathize with him having chemical issues, he does need to do something about it. And yes, he needs to hit bottom. And maybe he needs to lose EVERYTHING to feel that. Time will tell.

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[girlfromipanema]

Did ya have a lovely evening????

(((((((Corey))))))

P.S. I'm thinking of going backwards in years starting next b-day. So instead of 36, I'll be 34. Just a thought. =)

[Sugar and Spice]

Thanks to all of you for your sweet birthday wishes. I had a nice time last night. My friend and I went to dinner and had a drink and just talked. It was mellow and it was nice.

Today has been pretty hard. H calls me at 9am to see when we are supposed to meet with notary and we had a fairly decent chat. So at 10:50 I get a text that asks if I am F'ing him out of the house because this feels funny? WTF? Hes the one that suggested this, not me. So we texted back and forth and then I called him and told him I am offended that he would even say that. After all this crap, that he caused? I'm trying to help clean up a mess he has made, but I have questionable motives? WHATEVER! So I get called a bitch at the end of the convo. We end up going and getting it signed and you could cut the tension with a knife.

I'm just really sad that its all come to this.

[karen43]

So at 10:50 I get a text that asks if I am F'ing him out of the house because this feels funny? WTF? Hes the one that suggested this, not me. So we texted back and forth and then I called him and told him I am offended that he would even say that. After all this crap, that he caused? I'm trying to help clean up a mess he has made, but I have questionable motives? WHATEVER! So I get called a bitch at the end of the convo. We end up going and getting it signed and you could cut the tension with a knife.

So sorry things aren't going well Corey. I've had some of that too, where my H is unhappy & witchy about stuff with the D and he's the one that filed for it and wanted it so always think WTH? when he is like that. My theory is (b/c I always have those you know) is that occasionally, very occasionally they actually emerge from the fog for a few minutes or seconds or whatever and realize that they are doing all these things (like gambling, drinking, cheating, living single, etc.) all these things they are doing to have fun or be happy or whatever, and for a few seconds they realize I'm not happy. Well, a lot of us around here would try to figure out why, work on ourselves, but of course our WAS just think well if I'm unhappy, it must be W's fault, and then take their unhappiness out on you. So I would just try to detach and not take it personally, b/c I don't think it is really. Karen

[MichelleLT]

It's easier to blame you than himself. Maybe he feels like he is doing it out of guilt, and he's projecting his own guilt onto you? I.e. you are "making" him feel guilty, and he is doing this out of guilt, therefore you are manipulating the situation and him?

Maybe he's having second thoughts.

Maybe the Troll is giving him issues.

Whatever the reason, it's about him, not you.

((((((Corey)))))))

[girlfromipanema]

So at 10:50 I get a text that asks if I am F'ing him out of the house because this feels funny?

Sounds to me like the troll is feeding him a bunch of crap to get him riled up/keep him confused. Try to let it go in one ear and out the other.

((((((((Corey)))))))

[Maya44]

I think he's getting more and more stressed with the thought of another possible child coming along and being his and the responsibilit of that is crushing him. Hang in there sweetheart!