Hang in there AD this stuff is to be expected! You have to be the better person now and take the high road, don't let her words or actions get to you!!!
Concentrate on you and the weight loss program and who can forget the 1000 BUCKS!!!!! Stay strong and stay focused on what is important to you, that would be YOU and Abby!! Make it the BEST birthday she will ever have and remember for a lifetime, and she will always remember how daddy came through for HER!!!
I myself am down to a wimpy 213 from 245 and I have started to drink protein shakes cause I am losing to much. Hitting the weights really hard now to bulk up, I want to stay in the 220-230 range, that way the women will be mesmerized...lol.
I'm not sure that punishing her does much for your situation.
You went down that road. Only once, but you've involved another in your life. You have known that she had someone hanging around. This should not be a stunning surprise.
Once again we're back to looking at the big picture. Yes, you needed to stand firm on not have OM around Abby. But I think you needed to do it and be done with it.
Giving her the money for the ticket has nothing to do with this incident.
The high road is the tougher road, but it's the one that gets you where you want to go.
Again, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. The OM is always a stab to the heart, no matter how old your sitch is.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Thanks. I realized all that after our talk and then texts. Before I left I sent her an email basically saying I was more angry at myself for going out on a limb but I did state I was upset that D comes out and he's there. I also told her I was a little upset that the two nights she has Abby, she always has to have a buffer, ie, friends or family over too. WTF happened to one on one time (i didn't say it like that).
I finished by saying that I committed to giving her the money and I will live up to that committment. But honestly, I'm not going to be nice anymore. And Bill you are correct....I already knew all this and plus I wasn't even hurt about OM it was more that she went against my wishes.
I'm just amazed that this is the woman who had Abby's 2nd B-day arranged, three months prior and now I'm doing it all for her fifth. W hasn't participated with anything! Who is this person?
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Officially at my height I should be 147-175. What a joke! Me at 147, last time was when I was 13. But I'm trying to get to the 160s and then slowly bulk up. I'm losing too fast and not eating enough, but its so damn fun dropping lbs. I lost 4.5 from last Thursday to this one. I love saying I lost 45lbs in 7th months!!!
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Well I've really lost my Dbing and I'm going to have to refocus. I was going so well until W slowly started interacting and then I took major steps back. Wow. Not all my fault because I wasn't trying to snoop or even really pay attention until Abby blurts out the "ricky" name.
So met W at the dentist for Abby's first appt. Went okay and dentist was really good. Abby liked it after the first few tears. Then I told W to meet me at the house afterwork to do her car registration. Later she asks if I could just come by because she's in a hurry to ready to go out tonight. I say, when do you have to get ready at 4pm? I said, "Let me guess...dinner and movie?"
Short story is, that I did stop by her house, pay her reg. and then pick up Abby. Where she lives, there are a lot of hispanics and I made another stupid comment (since Ricky is really Ricardo) that he shouldn't feel out of place. Then she got defensive of course. Look at her!!! sticking up for her man!!!
I know its pretty much all my fault and now I pretty much need to start over. I'm really wondering if its all worth it. I'm just very exhausted and sadly my feelings for her are slowly going away. Only time will tell!
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
I don't believe in karma but it seems like since W moved out she's been having lots of issues. Same with her role-model friend who filed for D a month before we split up. Her friend has been having issues too. Deep down I sort of enjoyed it.
But yesterday W told me that friend might have liver cancer....its the same thing that W's friend's sister died of a few months ago. Now I feel bad and almost guilty because I was enjoying the tough times they both were happy. As much as I don't like this friend I sure pray that she doesn't have cancer. She has a s4 and a s1. That would be so tough.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
She ran from your marriage, using it as a scapegoat for her unhappiness.
Since you and the marriage were not the problem, she finds herself still unhappy. But now she is without her greatest support and fan.
She's living an unhappy life alone, grasping for anything that looks like it might bring relief.
It's a pretty sad existence and something that we can actually feel compassion for her on. It's also a familiar story to see these people isolate themselves from everyone who had their back for so long, only to find out that they are now simply sad AND alone.
No need to wish them rough times. There are plenty of those.
Ironically, this is where you begin to regain your ability to become that light shining in the distance.
If you can honestly take care of yourself and begin to THRIVE despite your situation...if you can find the ability to treat her in a loving way despite the pain she's caused...and if you can become a friend who will always support her again...
She may eventually realize that you've been the one person in her life that she could always count on...
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
If you can honestly take care of yourself and begin to THRIVE despite your situation...if you can find the ability to treat her in a loving way despite the pain she's caused...and if you can become a friend who will always support her again...
Well Bill, I think that pretty much sums up the whole point of all of us being here. Well said and thank you.
On a lighter note....just got back from a job. Bought an Ipod a couple days ago and man!!! does it help when running. I could have run all morning long.
Another irony hit me when Skid Rowe's "Youth gone Wild" started playing on my Ipod. Twenty years ago I was listening to that on my "Walkman" (remember those) while I was walking to school in my jeans jacket and smoking weed.
Wow! A lot has changed huh?
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
