You've been around enough now to know that the ex-BF is an issue that you have no control over.
She's told you her position on this guy. Her actions will now show her to be an honest person or dishonest person. But nothing you say or do will affect whether she decides to pursue him.
In fact, your accusations and insecurity would probably only cause her to move in his direction.
The same things that have been shared with you before are the things you should be working on.
UD needs to fill his life with things he CAN control. Things that both occupy his time and give him fulfillment. You need to work on things like patience and showing unconditional love for your wife when you have opportunity.
You cannot measure your responses to her based on her actions.
If she crosses a line that serves as a deal breaker for you, then let it be so. Otherwise you're doing what you can to show her that YOU are the more attractive choice. That is not done by treating the ex-BF like he is a threat.
Go read Sleepers thread in MLC and see how he is handling the OM in his wife's life. And they are already divorced! He serves as a good role model for you in that regard.
Your wife doesn't know what she wants. She's told you as much to your face.
And that my friend, means you have opportunity.
Don't waste that opportunity by focusing on the negatives. Instead focus on being the positive thing in her life.
And yes, I know that she doesn't give you as many opportunities as you would like. That's pretty typical. That just means you have to be SURE that you maximize every opportunity by NOT giving in to your fear and insecurity.
You need to LIVE as though you are the better man. As though you are the ONLY man who could truly make her happy.
Blessings,
bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
