First, Lovely Sugar, Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful time at the game and with your friend. I hope your H can at least be kind, respectful and less manic today.
Second, I agree with so much of what kerry wrote above. It's admirable for you to stand strong for your marriage, but the way he talks to you must end. I don't know what the solution is. Going dark is difficult because of the children. I guess you could simply not respond to him at all, unless it's about the kids.
Thinking of you and wishing you happiness.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence