Alimari..this is my first post to you and came over from frank_d's thread. As a victim of incredible lying and infidelity, it's always difficult to respond to something like this. All my instincts told me that something was going on with my W, but I chose to ignore them as 'DB principle's' very early on here. I saw babysteps while bad things happened behind my back. I am in the D process now.

However, your H saw the light and came back....and worked with you. Mine didn't. So, I am not sure if I am the best person to give advice. But...I think all men still need to have some sort of opposite sex contact. It sounds like H just did some stuff that, in view of past history, makes you feel the way you do.

In medicine, we say that if you are going to order a test, what are you looking for and are you prepared to act on what you find, or, don't order a test if you aren't going to act on it.

I wouldn't bring up anything here unless you are prepared to deal with the results/aftermath. HOWEVER...I know that piecing is a tough place to be. Dr. Phil says you 'own your marriage'. I say go forward with the good stuff you have but always keep your eyes open. You've worked so hard to be in that 5% that people like me will probably never see.

Work it.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;